


A World of Miracles

by rubylily



Category: Kamisama no Inai Nichiyoubi | Sunday Without God
Genre: Family, Gen, Memories, Mother-Daughter Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-06 12:29:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15194807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubylily/pseuds/rubylily
Summary: Ai returns to her ruined village to learn more about her mother.





	A World of Miracles

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pessi_mista](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pessi_mista/gifts).



When Ai was young, the first thing she saw every morning as she opened her eyes was her mother's face. In those carefree days, she could barely imagine a world beyond her mother's gaze.

Everyday her mother walked the village, greeting everyone by name, and Ai was glued to her side. Rarely did her mother carry her shovel, keeping it stored away at home, and even more rarely did she allow Ai to see or touch it. But Ai hadn't minded; the use of that shovel would mean somebody had passed away, and she didn't want that.

One day, during evening as Ai sat outside with her mother - she always loved the color of sky at sunset - she asked, "Mama, why did God abandon the world?"

Her mother let out a faint chuckle. "'Abandon' is such a strong word. That side is too crowded, and this side is reaching its limits - that's what the stories say."

"But why can't God just make more room?"

"Why, indeed." She laid her hand on Ai's hair. "Maybe He felt the world could still live without Him, and that people could create their own miracles."

"Oh, like gravekeepers!" Ai smiled brightly. "And it is our solemn duty to grant rest to the deceased and help the living lead wonderful lives," she recited, remembering what Anna and Yoki had told her. They were a nice couple, good friends of her mother's, but often they seemed sad, and Ai wanted to do her best to make them smile.

"My, you've certainly learned some big words." Yet her mother's expression softened as she touched Ai's cheek. "My role is to grant rest to those who seek it and aid those who want to live. I want to bring miracles to this village, and my greatest miracle is you."

"I-I am?" Ai stammered as her eyes went wide.

"Of course!" Her mother grinned as she pulled Ai into her arms. "No matter what, there will always be life in this world, and whatever your dream, you can make it come true."

"My dream…" Ai repeated, and the sound of her mother's heartbeat filled her ears.

"You're still young, so the world is open to you." As her mother stood, she carried Ai in her arms. "Now, how about we have some cake for dessert?"

"Yay, cake!" Ai exclaimed as she threw her arms around her mother's shoulders. "You're the best, Mama!"

"I love you, Ai," her mother whispered, her lips brushing against Ai's hair.

* * *

There were no paved roads leading to the village, so the group parked the van about half a day's walk away and continued on foot. Though it had been months since leaving her village, Ai recognized this path like it was only yesterday, and returning here felt like she was walking back in time. But while she still missed her mother and the villagers, she didn't want to disrespect her parents' dreams by wallowing in the past.

She had decided to visit her village again rather suddenly after leaving Ostia, and both Alice and Dee had agreed that they'd like to see where Ai had been born, while Julie had initially been reluctant but eventually accepted Ai's choice. Scar had asked if Ai wanted to find out more about her mother, and she found she couldn't answer Scar.

As the group ascended the hill into the village, Ai glanced at Scar beside her, and Scar carried Celica in her arms. Scar wasn't much like her mother, but since that day they had left Story Circle together, there was a joy about Scar that felt nostalgic to Ai, like the dreams she sometimes had about her mother.

Soon Scar noticed Ai's gaze. "Is something the matter?" she asked as Celica stirred in her arms.

"Celica really loves you, huh?" Ai said with a laugh. "Of all the people she could've chosen to wake her, I'm glad she chose you."

Scar's smile softened. "It is rather strange, I suppose. I had never desired a child, but Celica's voice still rang clear to me, and because she chose me, I don't wish to disappoint her."

Ai reached out to touch Scar's arm, and Celica's smile was as innocent as ever. "I'm glad we can travel together," she said softly.

Eventually the group passed farm fields now overgrown with weeds, and Ai's heart skipped a beat as familiar buildings came into view. She had walked this path many times before as part of her duties as a gravekeeper, but this time there would be no one to greet her or welcome her home. Yet the presence of her companions behind her was comforting.

No one spoke as they came to the center of the village, and Ai dashed ahead, the weight of her shovel familiar on her back. The buildings had fallen further into disrepair, and bullet holes still littered the walls. The scent of rotting flesh had faded, but in its place was a discontenting silence, much like the forgotten ruins of Ostia. Ai shivered and pulled her jacket tighter around herself, and her shovel suddenly felt heavier.

Julie came beside her. "Scar was right, wasn't she? You want to find out more about her mother, don't you?"

Despite herself, Ai couldn't help but smile. "It's that obvious, huh?"

"You've been asking about her more than usual." Julie's expression grew grave. "I'm sorry I can't tell you more."

"No, it's fine. You've been helpful, really, and I might not even find anything more here."

An awkward silence began to fall, but Julie spoke again. "Do you want me to help you search?"

Ai shook her head. "I'll be fine on my own."

"If you say so." Julie was still a moment longer, and then reached into his pocket for that photograph of himself with his family and Ai's parents. "Here, you might like this for now."

Ai accepted the photograph without comment; it was the only picture she had left of either her mother or father, and she held it close to her heart.

A smile tugged at Julie's lips. "I think I'll go pay my respects to your parents now."

"Thank you," Ai said quietly, and with photograph in hand, she turned to find her mother's old house.

Her feet remembered the way there, even as a million different thoughts raced through her mind. When she pushed open the door, only a musty smell greeted her instead of her mother's voice, or even Anna's or Yoki's. Her eyes hurt, but she still forced a smile; she had suspected for a long time that the villagers were keeping a secret from her, but Anna and Yoki had always answered any questions about her mother.

"I'm back, Mother," she said loudly as she rolled up her sleeves. Every inch of this house was already familiar to her, but maybe with the veil over her eyes now gone, she would find something new, she hoped.

As she searched drawers and shelves, she let her thoughts wander. Compared to Ortus, her village had been minuscule, maybe too small to have sustained itself for much longer, and as she got older even she would've noticed no one else was aging. But had her mother or the other villages known about Ortus? That city had only been established about nine years ago, so if her mother hadn't left the village since her birth and it was too isolated to receive news…

But as a gravekeeper, her mother wouldn't have been allowed into Ortus with her friends, and if there was one thing Ai was certain of, it was that her mother was happy with the small heaven she had created, however fleeting it was.

(Sometimes she wondered if her father had known about Ortus too, but she suspected that the guards of Ortus had a "kill-repeatedly-on-sight-until-he-leaves" order concerning the Man-Eating Toy.)

While searching, Ai found old clothes and books and other assorted belongings, including a flower crown she had made for her mother, but nothing new or surprising. As she stood and dusted her knees, she let out a heavy sigh. It was getting late and she had no lantern or candles, but she didn't want to stop searching just yet.

She headed toward her mother's bedroom, where she had spent most of her time after her mother's death, before Anna and Yoki had taken her into their home. Thus her mother's house had remained empty, and Ai's visits to reminisce had grown less and less frequent as she had gotten older.

She sat on the edge of the bed and set down her shovel, and her back felt lighter. She was a strong gravekeeper, though not as strong as Scar, and she remembered her mother's strength clearly. She took out that photograph Julie had given her, and she smiled as her eyes fell upon her mother standing beside her father.

"I know my father's real name now, Mother," she found herself saying. "He said he never told you, but it's Kizuna Astin, and now I'm Ai Astin. But what was your real name? Father and Julie call you Hana, but all the villagers called you Alfa, and you were a unique gravekeeper, the very first…"

She ran her fingers along the blade of her shovel, and the engraved insignia had always reminded her of a blooming flower. Her mother had told her once that a gravekeeper's shovel was a symbol of rest and rebirth, and to carry it was to carry a heavy responsibility.

Stretching her arms, Ai hopped to her feet and headed toward the bookshelf, where a book sticking out just slightly, almost enough to avoid attention, had caught her eye. The book was thick and dusty, and the edges of the unusually thin pages were covered in gold. She carefully opened the book, and a folded piece of paper fell out, almost startling her. She picked it up gently, but although it was old and faded, she recognized her mother's handwriting immediately.

_"My dearest Ai, I'm so sorry I won't be able to see you grow up. I don't have much time left, but the years I've spent with you have been the happiest of my life. I have created this heaven for my friends of the village, and they will be more than happy to share it with you. When you're older, you'll be able to spread your wings beyond this village and find your own dream. You may find your father too, and I know he'll love you as much as I do. Ai, you are a wonderful girl, my precious miracle, and whenever you go, the world will be waiting for you. Love, your mother Alfa._

_"P.S. Your father is friends with this nice couple, and they have a daughter a few years older than you. When you meet them, I'm sure you and her will become good friends."_

Ai reread the letter several times, and while her eyes hurt, no tears fell. "Ah, you really were happy, weren't you, Mother?" she said aloud, and her fingers tightened around the fragile piece of paper. "And I think Father was too, at the end…"

She folded the letter and placed it in the pocket of her jacket with Julie's photograph, and then she lay upon her mother's bed, clutching her precious shovel tightly. She remembered spending many nights sharing her mother's bed, being held in her mother's arms and lulled to sleep by the familiar rhythm of her mother's heartbeat, and every morning her mother greeted her with a smile.

She rubbed her eyes with her sleeve, but a smile still found its way to her lips. Even if all she had left of her mother and father were memories, she would treasure them all the same. As long as she was alive, she would search for her own dream.

As she glanced out the window, she saw the sun was beginning to set, with shovel in hand, she hopped off the bed and made her way to the entrance of the house, and outside Julie was waiting for her, and he now carried Celica.

"Find anything interesting?" he asked.

Ai's fingers tightened around her shovel; she did want to tell Julie about her mother's letter, but someday, not today. "My mother really was happy," she said.

"I'm sure she was." Julie smiled, holding Celica close to his chest. "Since it's getting late, let's find the others."

Ai nodded, and as she walked beside Julie, she told him more about her mother, and as he listened closely, she was grateful.

* * *

Alfa didn't much mind the rain, and she quite enjoyed the sound of the raindrops against the windows, the gentle rhythm soothing her anxiety. Ai, true to her age, disliked the rain and found it boring to stay inside all day. But night had finally fallen, and she had put Ai to bed by reassuring her daughter that the sun would greet them tomorrow.

And at least Ai would still have the sun.

Setting down her pen, Alfa stared at the piece of paper on her desk. She didn't have much time left, of that much she was certain. Her body was growing weaker, and both her vision and hearing were fading. Of the villages, only Anna and Yoki knew, and they had argued about what to do and what to tell Ai.

A knock on the door pulled her back to her senses, and she folded her letter into a nearby book. "Come in," she said.

The door opened, revealing Ai, and she clutched her favorite pillow to her chest. "Mama, can I sleep with you? The rain won't stop, and…"

A weak smile tugged at Alfa's lips. She had been reluctant to let Ai share her bed lately, worried about her daughter seeing blood, but she couldn't ignore how distraught Ai had been these past few days. "All right, dear," she said with a wink. "It has been raining a lot these days."

Ai smiled brightly, and quickly she climbed into her mother's bed and pulled the sheets over herself, and Alfa sat beside her, stroking her hair. "Mama, what's wrong?" she asked. "You look sad…"

"It's just the rain," Alfa said quickly. "But now it's time to sleep, and I'll join you shortly."

Ai reached for Alfa's hand, her small fingers tight and warm, and as her green eyes fell closed, Alfa's heart felt more at ease. She didn't have much time left, but this time with her daughter was more than she ever could've asked for.

She was a gravekeeper, but that day she had met Hampnie Hambart, something had begun to change. Then he had introduced her to his friend Julie and Julie's wife and daughter, and Alfa had found herself wishing deeply for something more. She had tried to flee to Story Circle, unfulfilled, but along the way she had met Anna and Yoki, both deceased and trying to find a place to live, and she had no desire to bury them. When she finally realized she was pregnant, they had helped her give birth, and together they had established a new village, a heaven on Earth she could protect.

She hadn't left the village since Ai's birth, and while she still missed Hampnie, she could finally say she was happy, that she finally understood her wish. Maybe this village wouldn't last much longer, maybe Hampnie still hadn't found his wish, but as long as miracles still existed in this world, she hoped that Ai could be happy.

Even if this world was ending, she would at least grant her daughter this miracle.

Alfa bent over and kissed her daughter's forehead. "Sweet dreams, Ai," she said, cradling Ai's small hand between hers.


End file.
